That was me, yesterday. I had been having some off an on neck pain, and yesterday it was just debilitating. I was so uncomfortable it seemed to emanate throughout my entire being. And so throughout the course of the day I was less and less pleasant in myself. I was agitated, I could not get comfortable - no amount of stretching or self massage helped. I was impatient and eventually exhausted. I was also super fun to be around - as you can imagine!
I also had this gnawing thought process happening over the course of the weekend and into yesterday. An interaction over the weekend had really set me off; I was equally agitated and frustrated. I was replaying the conversation over and over in my head. I was telling Matt and my family about it - complaining, trying to sort it all out. On Sunday evening, instead of running to my computer to write an email, I determined it was best to sleep on it, knowing that sleep can be the wisest thing when I am working through something. I did not want to be impulsive, I did not want to address the issue from a place of ego. So, I went to bed.
I did feel more settled in my mind upon waking, for sure. And, I had this awful, terrible pain. Amidst the pain, I was quite clear about one thing...while I was not sure at all what to do for my neck (no heating pad could save the day this time), I was very sure that I had something that I needed to speak out about. I knew, from a deep place within me, that I had to respond powerfully about the weekend interaction.
I finally made it to my computer around 11 p.m. (yes ideally this is when I want to be sleeping) and I sat down and wrote my letter. I was clear in my mind about what I needed to speak. I was clear about how I wanted to represent myself. I was clear that I needed to speak from my heart. And I did. Then I hit send.
And then, I moved my arms, and my head and I felt the pain in my neck dissipating. It was fading quickly and I was elated. I moved around more - now instead of searing pain I had the sensation of empty soreness - like that "feels good" kind of pain after a good work out at the gym.
AHA! The moment, the moment when I realized that as much thinking through and breathing and etc. as I had done around the issue of the unpleasant interaction - it was no match for how I was holding it in my body. There was no competition, my body was winning "the battle" over how to handle the situation. My entire being needed me to take effective action and speak from my heart. Once I did, all of the stagnation from the pain and upset began to move.
Amazing, aren't we?