...ford every stream. Follow every rainbow, til you find your dream.~ Rodgers and Hammerstein ~
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I’m only half crunchy. I still wear antiperspirant while eating local, organic cherries and studying my acupuncture notes. So when I say “we’re all one”, I’m not saying it after coming from a tree-hugging retreat (although I did happen to hug a tree last week). I’m echoing what science, religion & philosophy, and our bodies have been teaching us for centuries.
Science tells us that everything is constantly in motion. Every atom is constantly dancing around in relation to the other atoms around it. Tables, bricks, human cells – everything is in this state of movement. Atoms literally float all the way through, into, and out of our bodies. What this means is that we are permeable; we are not completely solid. We are physically growing, shrinking, moving, soaking in moisture and giving off steam all day every day. So where I physically end and you physically begin is not clearly definable, even by scientific terms. We literally blend into one another.
Religion & Philosophy
Every religion and philosophy in the world began with a fundamental underlying theme: oneness. Then, just like our favorite cereals, additives and special combinations were introduced to define one set of beliefs from another. Distinctions arose like ‘those who call themselves followers of this particular god are one’, or ‘you can call yourself one with us if you simply believe what we believe or act the way we act’. None of us can prove which of these distinctions define who is and who is not actually united; we’re all just waiting for the afterlife to prove that for us.
The Right Brain
I recently was falling asleep and found myself in a half-awake, half-dream state. What I was half-dreaming was like an acid trip or a 3D Johnny Depp movie. I saw patterns and colors swirling in my head, and I lost sense of where the boundaries of my body ended and began. I saw myself as an intricately colored sheet of light gently waving, like a curtain being blown by the breeze from an open window. The next day I vividly remembered this image, and I was reminded of Jill Bolte Taylor’s story. Jill is a Harvard-trained and published neuroanatomist who had a stroke, and as a scientist, analyzed her stroke as it was happening. She recounts what her experience felt like in her amazing book, My Stroke of Insight (also summarized in this TED talk). Her left brain seemed to short out while her right brain seemed to take over. At one point during her experience, she described losing sense of where her hand ended and the bathroom wall began. She described sensing the world in color, light, and motion, and she could sense other people in the room even though she couldn’t communicate with them. My trippy dream state was like this right brained experience, and it gave me a new perspective on what I am and am not. I did not feel fully solid; I did feel permeable, like a collection of constantly moving molecules of light and color. I was aware that whatever I identify myself with (my left brain in action), whether it’s a belief or a religion or a race or an emotion – they don’t have anything to do with who or what I really am, which is the same cluster of colorful molecules that you are. Every label that I assign to myself as “me” (pale-woman-daughter-sister-wife-redhead-animal lover-anti hoarder-etc.) is like a balloon that I tie on to myself and choose to own. These are merely attempts at distinguishing – separating – me from you, yet they are only minute descriptors of the prism that is me, that is us.
Science, religion & philosophy and our bodies are all pointing to the same thing, that there are no clear cut, laser sharp, black and white boundaries between us. I’m not pointing to oneness to paint a warm and fuzzy picture; I’m ok with being one with the Dalai Lama, but do I really want to be one with the guy who cut me off in traffic, or say, a rapist?
This is where I insert the ‘damnit’ into ‘we’re all one’. What oneness does is level the playing field. I’m no better than any criminal. And I’m no worse than the Dalai Lama. I may share the same molecules with either one. What this translates to in the treatment room is that I see you intermingled with – but not defined by – the labels you carry. Our self-created identities have dramatic affects on how we live, eat, breathe and walk through this world. Some identify themselves with martyrdom, giving so generously that they are exhausted. Some carry secrets like the weight of the world on their shoulders, triggering pain and tension. And how we walk through the world spills into everyone else’s space too. Our sleeplessness and angry moods rub off on each other. When I think about us all being one, I have compassion for your aches and forgiveness for my pains – because I see that I can’t help but soak up yours and leak mine.
Like a science lab, a place of worship, or my right brain, there is no judgment in the treatment room. There are just your molecules, my molecules and some needle-shaped molecules between us. This is where movement can flow.
“…The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive…
I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving…
Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one…”
- Thich Nhat Hanh, from Call Me by My True Names
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
- Body temperature: Do you perspire? an appropriate amount?
- Solid waste management: How are your bowels? Do things move, at least once a day or on another regular pattern?
- Liquid waste management: What about urination? How often - is it appropriate for the amount you drink? Is it so much that it is disrupting sleep and activities?
- Sleep and rest: Are you sleeping? Do you have trouble falling asleep? Do you stay asleep? Do you wake during the night? Are you rested upon waking in the morning?
- Nourishment: What is your appetite like? Are you nourished or undernourished?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
- crazy dreams such that I wake up equally as tired as I was before going to bed with confusion on top
- night sweats
- my eyes pasted shut so impressively upon waking that I may have walked into some furniture on my way to shower
- a serious lack of desire for make-up or hairstyling
- total lack of patience for people on the road, people asking me questions...well people in general
- a frequency of a red rudolph-esq nose and lack of color on the rest of my face
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
- I am fortunate to have the opportunity to reproduce; having my flow lets me know that there is a possibility of giving life to a child
- I consider myself lucky because I have one additional cleansing mechanism for my system. Each month, my body - by the will of nature - collects and discards of any additional byproducts that my body does not need.
- I can track things like breast tenderness, cramping, my emotions, and the actual flow itself (amount, consistency, length, color and etc.) to gather significant information about myself and the state of my wellbeing
So, I am happy to have my flow and all that comes with it. And while I do not necessarily love experiencing a symptom like cramps or a headache, I am appreciative of the symptom to let me know that things are moving, I am changing and I am alive. It keeps me aware and teaches me how to care for myself, and for that I am quite gracious.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
- What exactly are we looking to treat with this drug/vitamin/supplement?
- What are the side effects?
- If it's over-the-counter (OTC) how do I know which to choose? How are the choices different from one another?
- What are the benefits of taking this? What is the downside (not necessarily the same as a side effect)?
- How do I feel about taking this drug? Am I comfortable with it? Scared? Excited?
- What will happen if I do not take this?
Saturday, July 2, 2011
- I, as always, wanted to make sure that everything was in order prior to departure and this includes everything from clean sheets, car clean, cats fed, toaster oven unplugged to trash out (seriously the list is longer and I will spare you).
- Hubby was not fully aware of all of these items on my list.
- I committed to "packing us up" and hubby thought this meant I would both select and pack all of his items, I thought that he would pull them for me and I would stick them in the bag (as this is what usually happens).
- Hubby anticipated or expected we would be leaving later than the 10 a.m. specified time he had set and so, at 9 a.m., so in anticipatory fear of the super fun guy that pops out when we are late I started to have a mini private freak out.
- I assumed that hubby had taken fully off of work for the holiday weekend thus was quite confused (and as you can imagine very pleasant to him) when he was checking email when he "should have" been helping me get the house perfect.